Irony
by Blaney
Summary: This is the way I saw the episode Parish ending. It’s Clark thinking to himself. It's kind of dark. Oneshot


**Title **– Irony

**Author** – Blaney

**Summery** – This takes place right after then end of Parish, the episode were Alicia is framed for trying to kill Lana and Jason, and we found out it really was some sand boy who killed Alicia. Clark has returned to the loft after going to the graveyard. This is Clark's internal monologue (what he's thinking).

To me the story just called for this type of darkness. Very few characters have as much guilt as superheroes. When they can't save someone, or when they have dual identities and they have to lie to protect it.

Right now it's a one-shot deal. Not a story that really lends itself to sequels. But who know if y'all help me expanded on it, I might.

**Rating** – Definitely Teen, - PG 13 - I kept the cussing down, but it comes close. I wanted to convey a sense that he was very guilt ridden, and he's pissed not only at himself but to the whole town and his parents for the way they treated Alicia.

**Spoilers** – Definitely Parish, and Scared, it would help to have a working knowledge of Smallville and the mentioned characters also I touch on Devoted, and Skinwalker

**Disclaimer** – I don't own Smallville or the characters. And while I do live in Kansas, in a town not unlike Smallville, and I wear glasses, I'm not Superman, nor do I own the copyrights. They belong to their respective owners. I just take them out and play with them when the voices in my shoes tell me to. I try to put them back the same way I found them… maybe a little singed around the edges but with a little soap and water… oh sorry never mind.

Please enjoy.

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(Thunk)

(Thunk)

You know I can throw this baseball in to outer space, or crush it in my hand, melt it with my heat vision, not to mention several other ways I can destroy this little ball. So what does that say about me? All my abilities are all destructive, not to mention my very first sin, the meteor shower, I still wake up in a cold sweat sometimes after we all experienced the fear gas. The image of Lana with hate and disgust in her eye's as she is about to drive the meteor rock in to me. I have had dreams like that off and on since I learned about my true origin. And though it had been happening less and less, the gas made it all come back. Most of my life I never thought, dreamed, or even imagined myself with anyone other then Lana; god I hate irony…the woman I love the most, the woman that is the one that has the most reason to hate me. I have to… try to learn to let her go.

(Sigh)

(Thunk)

(Thunk)

Alicia, god, I am so sorry, what is it, I can save countless other people but not the woman who might have been able to help me let Lana go. I know I could have loved her. And then there was Kayla, the Native American woman who knows me…the real me… but she died to, died in my arms. I wasn't fast or strong enough to save her either.

I must be cursed.

I can't be close to someone because of my secret, and the people who DO know it, die.

I guess I am destined to be alone. Despite my parent's best intentions, I can't help but resent them and this whole freakin town. I know it's not logical but dammit, I don't want it to be. I would never have believed she was the one trying to kill Lana and Jason, but when every one turned their backs on us… with her, I bowed to the pressure. I know my parents feel bad, guilty even, I could see it on their faces when they came to talk to me. I was kind of surprised they waited 2 days. I guess that just shows how much guilt they must feel.

Then there was Chloe, I was very surprised to see her at the grave yard. Her cryptic words did not help the situation. I know she thinks she loves me, maybe she does, I don't know. I know she cares about me, and its not that I don't care about her…I do, she is one of my best friends but I don't know what to do about it any more. I told her I did not have the same feelings for her that she does for me, and I don't think I can make myself love her, even if Lana wasn't part of the problem. No matter how hard I try I still end up going back to her. Life begins and ends with Lana Lang. I would laugh at all this irony if I wasn't worried that I'd start crying at the same time and someone might see. I do not want to explain nor do I want anyone's pity, no matter how genuine. I don't think I can handle it right now.

Lois… I care about her to, but she frustrates me to no end but at the same time. I want to protect her as well. I know it's stupid because she can take care of herself better then I can. She always seems so fearless, but I can see something in her eyes…she is just putting on a brave front and if she were alone she would be crying her eyes out. But heaven help me if she ever heard me say that; powers or not, she scares even me. She is a force to be reckoned with. I don't know what would have happened if she hadn't shown up at the museum when she did, I was ready to kill that guy; I wanted to tear him apart with my bear hands. I know now that my rage was only mostly because he killed Alicia the rest of it is my guilt that I should have believed her…I should have stood by her side…told this whole town to f-off. If need be, I should have gone to the sheriff and explained myself. Maybe she would still be alive… maybe.

I hate hindsight as much as I hate irony.

And Lois wonders why I brood all the time.

(Thunk)

(Thunk)

Time heals all wounds… so they say… we'll see.

The End.


End file.
